I Hate April Fools Day


Today is April 1st; a day often referred to April Fools Day. I despise this day for the fact that many people will use it as an excuse for incredibly cruel and hurtful “jokes” and claim that they’re being funny and I’m being too sensitive. I don’t understand why people think that a cruel or hurtful joke is funny. It is often times some of the worst pain that you can put someone through, especially if you don’t know that they’re going through something. It’s frustrating to say the least. So, I ask all of you to refrain from the cruel and hurtful “jokes” today (well, any day really).

This is my Public Service Announcement for the day.

Up to Date

I know I’ve been remiss in my updates here. For that, I could make a bunch of excuses, but in all honestly, none of them are any good and they’re a bunch of bullshit anyway. However, I am sorry. I know I have some people that follow me here; and I should have been better about updates. I will try to be better for all of you.

Let’s see…

I have started as a consultant for Jamberry! They are these vinyl nail wraps that come in over 300 designs; so there is something for everyone. And at $15 each, you’ll get enough wraps for at least two manicures (or pedicures). I love them because they’re easy to apply – all you need is a hairdryer or mini-heater (which we sell and I highly recommend) and I can express myself in so many different ways with my nails. I also love them because they’re non-toxic, made in the USA (the company was started in Utah), and just an amazing product. Check them out at: http://sarahill.jamberry.com

My niece, Ky, just turned four. I can’t believe that she’s almost ready to be starting school. She’s in pre-K this year, but gosh… Time flies. It’s so crazy how crazy in the blink of an eye a little tiny spud of a baby has turned into a bright happy girl. It makes me wish I had one of my own sometimes; but then again I would rather be able to spoil my nieces and nephews. <3 So, what's been up with you all?

Motivation Monday: Back to Basics

In the interest of returning to things that make me happy; I have once again resumed my fanfic writing on Livejournal and Insanejournal from years ago.

I know this is crazy, and I should be working on my own original stuff in order to one day, maybe in a million to one chances get published. However, this has always been a facet of fandom culture that excited me, and I will continue to be a part of it until I no longer wish to be a part of that fandom. And in this case, I don’t foresee that happening for a very long time, if ever.

Years ago, writing and reading fanfic was an escape for me during a very difficult time in my life. I had not been in a relationship for a number of years, and I thought my world was falling apart as the stress of full time work and school was starting to get to me. The depression was kicking me in the ass pretty hard. Then, I discovered fanfics and roleplaying in said fandom. I’ve met some pretty amazing people over the years in my journeys through fandom.

As a general rule, I will not be posting my fandom works here. Not that I don’t want to share them with all of you; it is merely a part of protecting myself and the persons who are the creators of said original works. Many authors have said they are okay with fanfic and the like; which is incredibly kind of them to do. I am grateful that the fandom I am in pretty amazing.

Anyway; just wanted to check in and let you all know I was still alive and kicking. Josh has been home from the hospital for a couple of weeks and is still on the mend. I’m still stressed about money; as usual.

Much love to all!

Is This Thing On?


It’s been far too long since I’ve been here and made a proper post. Not that I didn’t try to, of course; it’s just that life seriously got in the way and made it difficult for me to do a lot of the things that I have wanted to accomplish.

In no particular order, here’s what’s been going on:

Josh is in the hospital. A couple of week ago; his foot started to swell up and we thought maybe he banged it or did something in the middle of the night (like tripping over a cat – which I’ve done more times than I can count over the years). So, we didn’t really think anything of it. He kept it propped up and was taking some Aleve for the pain and tried to treat it gingerly as best we could. Nothing helped. Finally, on Monday afternoon, we went to the Urgent Care to have it checked out since it wasn’t healing and had gotten worse. Josh thought he might’ve broken a bone and that’s why it was not healing as a sprain should typically heal. Come to find out, he has Cellulitis; which is a bacterial infection that is common. I had never heard of it; but I’m not a doctor. Thankfully the doctor we saw at the ER was able to start treatment. He was transferred to an area hospital and the doctors there have been administering treatments and such for it all week. I’m hopeful that he’ll be able to come home later today (Friday).

It’s been awful not having him here. I got so used to having him here with me whenever I was home. The worst part? Not having him to sleep next to. It’s so weird not having him there, cuddling me, or trying to steal my pillows – even though he says he ‘never does that’. Yeah, right babe. Hell, even the cat has been extra needy toward me. And the cat doesn’t particularly like me very much. Last night, he tried to get into my lap and curl up. He didn’t stay long since he clawed the hell out of my leg. I don’t mind if there are a few layers of clothes or a blanket between us because he does the paw kneading thing on anything he lays on before settling. But it’s too fucking hot for all those layers of clothes. So he settled for sitting next to me, up against my leg. Still, too fucking hot for that, but I feel bad for the boy.

I’ve been working a lot. Last pay check I had overtime. Yay more money. But, really, that didn’t go too far, since I spent it on Scentsy and Jamberry stuff. Haha. I know, I should’ve saved the money; but I honestly felt like I needed to give myself a little something. I love shopping for anything that isn’t clothes related. Except socks. Am I weird for that? Probably.

Really, the extra hours are for to hopefully start paying for Josh’s birthday party in March. It’s not fun trying to do it by yourself and the hours at work were there. So, I took advantage of them and now I realize how much that sucked up my free time for my own pursuits in life. Which, as I’m sure some of you know, when you have no time for yourself, it makes EVERYTHING awful. But, things have calmed down a little bit and that’s nice; hopefully that means I’ll have more time for things I actually want to do. Like paint, or write, or play in Photoshop, or learn meditation techniques.

Alright, I think I’m done.


Tantrum Thursday: Falling Behind

Found on Facebook. Life Goals (:

Found on Facebook. Adult Life Goals (:

Okay; so I know I’ve been really lacking on the posts lately. It’s been a rough couple of weeks around here, and I haven’t had much free time in order to get a post up. UGH. No free time sucks. I actually meant to post this on Thursday… This one counts as a Tantrum Thursday post. 🙂

What’s been going on, you may be wondering?

Well, I’ve had a lot of anxiety about money. It’s stressed me out to the point that I’ve been making myself sick. My migraines and physical reactions (dizziness, stomach aches – thank goodness my hair isn’t falling out again (that was not fun)) to the stress are making it difficult to function in certain situations. Example: earlier this week, we went to the grocery store for a normal trip. The entire time we were in the store, I was in a panic mode about how we were going to afford it, and what would happen if we couldn’t (for whatever reason). I knew I could’ve put it on my credit card, but I really didn’t want to add more to that bill than I had already done over the past few days. I was really sick the whole time. I didn’t start to feel the unclenching of my insides until we were in the car and on the way home, having successfully paid for the groceries.

I hate this. This is no way to live. I can’t take on the responsibilty of having a second job; there is no way that I could physically or mentally handle it. I don’t know how the people that work two jobs handle it. They’re some kind of superhero. Josh keeps telling me to not worry about money, that it’ll be okay. He’s never really been in this situation; and I have. I have every right to be completely stressed the fuck out about money. Yeah, money isn’t everything. But I don’t want to lose the car we’ve only had a few months, or the house. For me to be “okay” would be him having a job, or his book taking off and making money for us. I don’t know how much more I can take of the stress.

Also the people that are living in my house are making me really angry. They keep lying to us about taking care of shit. When K moved in again; we made the agreement that by June the garage would be cleared out so we could use it again. It’s almost the middle of June and nothing has been done to get that taken care of. I’m so fed up. If shit doesn’t get moved soon, I’m going in there and throwing all the garbage out, and having a huge giveaway/yard sale for all the stuff that I think could potentially make me some money. Because they’re also costing us a hell of a lot of money. Using electric, water, cable, and everything in my kitchen.

Sigh. I need a drink.

Motivation Monday : Call Me Caitlyn


Today’s Motiviation Monday comes on the heels of Caitlyn Jenner’s Vanity Fair cover for July 2015.

It’s a beautiful cover image and I’m proud of her. She’s living, for the first time, her true authentic self. And that’s something so many people need to learn how to do. I know I do. I can’t imagine what she’s been through; having to essentially live a lie for years, being unable to be the person she felt inside. After awhile; that would just kill the inner light that is your authentic self. How terrible. This transformation will bring about such happiness and light that you’ll immediately be able to tell the difference in her. It’s awesome.

I can’t wait to see what is to come for Caitlyn Jenner. Here’s to you pretty lady!

Article / Image Credit: Vanity Fair

Tantrum Thursday : Girl Problems

Hi and welcome to another installment of Tantrum Thursday.

Today’s tantrum is borderline TMI; since it’s all about being a girl.

Don’t like it? Don’t read this then.

Okay. So, girl problems.

Let me first start by stating that most aspects of being female I love: The makeup, the cute clothes, the nail polish… All of that. It’s great and wonderful and one of the best parts of life. But, having horrid double over in pain cramps, bloating so you feel as big as a house, headaches that make you want to shoot your own foot to cause pain somewhere else in your body, and sometimes uncontrollable crying fests.


What I honestly hate is the people who don’t experience their female-ness with these severe of symptoms. It makes me so sick to see girls who are able to go about their day with all sense of normalness that you can’t even tell if they’re in that way. It’s not fair. Why did I get cursed with such an awful time each month? What happened in my ancestry that made it so I would be “blessed” with this? I don’t remember a time that I’ve ever had that kind of cycle. It’s so frustrating and makes me want to scream. Which, I have done in the past.


I’ve talked to other ladies in my family and they’ve not had the same experiences I’ve had. So, at this point, I don’t know what to do. It’s awful. My doctors aren’t really sure why I’m having such a difficult time with this aspect of life. We’ve tried medication after medication and nothing really makes a big enough difference that it has improved my quality of life. We’ll keep trying, and that’s all I can do. That, and pray. But, what good has that done for me in the past?

I’m gonna go cry in the corner now.

See you soon!

Motivation Monday: Change

Today’s Motiviation Monday post is all about change.

Whether it is as simple as changing the polish on your fingers and toes at the beginning of the week, to completely uprooting your life for a new opportunity (job, school, a partner) that could completely redefine the course of your life. Change is inevitable; no matter how hard you try to not let it happen. Each day, we grow as people; influenced by everything around us: interactions with other people, learning new things, smells, sights…

If you take small moments throughout your day, I’m sure you’ll find where you’re always changing. In little ways, most of the time, but you are changing. And it’s a glorious thing.

Tantrum Thursday: Stupid Friends/Proving Grounds

This is a new series of posts I’ve decided to start called Tantrum Thursday. Basically, it’ll be my day to rant about everything and anything in my life, the gaming world, politics, whatever I can come up with. I hope you enjoy them. They should be fun. 🙂

#1: Stupid Friends
Okay, Josh and I have two mutual friends (we’ll call them A and K) who are dating (again; and that’ll come into play later on). Currently, they’re living with us (again). They have been nothing but problematic in the year-ish they’ve lived with us. I’m so fed up with their empty promises, drama, and all around annoyance in my life. Both are nice enough people on the surface; but they’re so full of shit when it comes to honoring promises and agreements that I want to throw them both out of my house with all of their shit on the front lawn. And then tell them both to go fuck themselves with rusty spoons.

A moved in with us and then K moved in after her. It was okay for awhile. And then, shit hit the fan. Promises got broken about things that were going to happen around the house. Example: the garage is still full of shit that neither mine nor Josh’s and he wants to park the car in there so it doesn’t get damaged by the elements. Which, since he pays for the house, is in his own right. Their shit has been in the garage since A moved in with the furniture from her apartment, and then all the stuff that K brought from her place. Then, there’s the solarium. It’s a beautiful area of the house, with lots of windows for great natural light painting. But I can’t use it. Because there are boxes upon boxes of stuff that doesn’t belong in there, and doesn’t have a home currently in our house. I’m sick of having it all over the place. I want a space to paint that isn’t going to be in the way; where I can feel safe and can leave stuff out if I want to and not have to clean up each time. It’s infuriating.

So, late last year, both A and K moved out of our house. Most of their shit is still in various places around the house. I’m annoyed, but they’ve both “promised” to get their stuff out of the house in short order. Finally, I thought, Josh and I have the house to ourselves again. A month or so went by, and we found ourselves back in the same situation. Welp. The peace didn’t last long. A had a huge fight with the person she had moved in with, and got kicked out of the condo (that’s another story). K called me freaking out from California asking us to take A back in. Fine. UGH. We do out of the goodness of Josh’s heart. Not terribly long after this happens, K comes back. There’s lots of drama surrounding this event that I’m not at liberty to discuss. Suffice to say that it’s a big fucking mess and I’d rather not have any part of it. Before K came back, there was a long discussion about how things would change; and it still hasn’t. I’m pissed about it. Now they’re back living with us. I hope things change soon. Or I’m gonna end up in a mental ward for having a breakdown.


Moving on.

#2: I hate the Proving Grounds (World of Warcraft).
As I’m sure most of you know, if you follow me on Twitter or here (as I’ve posted about this before), is that I HATE the Proving Grounds and everything about it’s current incarnation.

When it was was just something to do in the game; I didn’t mind it so much. It wasn’t a part of the game that I minded having as it added an additional challenge for players who were bored with the other content of the current expansion. Never, in any of my wildest dreams, would I have imagined that this aspect of the game would be such a point of frustration and tears for me. Believe me, I’ve cried a lot over this game.

It’s infuriating that Blizzard wants to keep some players from having access to some content that was freely available in previous expansions. Players have always had the option to run normal or heroic dungeons of their choice; with no restrictions on them other than being of a certain level. Which, from what I understand, made a lot of people happy. I know it made me happy to have the choice to run whichever level of dungeon that I wanted.

By making this change, they are making the game that much harder to advance in for players who don’t have the time to dedicate to raiding and pvp, but still enjoying doing 5-man dungeons (normal and heroic). Because, some of us don’t have guilds that are always available to queue with for heroic dungeons. On the other hand, we may not be in a guild, which makes it all the much harder to find another player to queue with. I don’t understand why Blizzard would alienate a huge percentage of their player base: the casual player. These people, while not hardcore raiders or pvp’ers, still make up a huge portion of players that can’t access the parts of the game they were able to before. This will turn people off from playing, I’ve seen it happen. When you can’t get gear to meet the minimum ilevel to queue for LFR because the only way to get better gear is to run 5 man heroic dungeons, and you can’t do that because you can’t get through the Silver level Proving Grounds. There is a definite lack of forgiveness in being able to run different content.

With subscriber numbers down since the launch of this expansion; one would think that Blizzard would take a hard look at the reasons why people are leaving the game. Whether it’s content gating, lack of raiding tiers, frustration over the Proving Grounds… Something has to change Blizzard. Or you won’t have anyone playing the game by the next expansion launch.

I’ll see you all next week with another episode of Thursday Tantrums.

NBI: Motivational Monday : Inspiration

This should have been Monday’s post, but it was an awful day yesterday and I didn’t get a chance to post. <3

So, Monday’s are generally awful for a lot of people. It’s the first day back to work/school after the weekend, and no one really wants to do anything. In that vein, I’ve decided that Monday’s will now be known as Motivational Monday. I’m going to post something that is fun, interesting, or crazy to give you a giggle and make the day a little brighter for you.

Today’s is a picture I took a few weeks ago of the tree outside my house in the front yard. I had no idea what it was until I posted it to Facebook and my Granny said that it was a Dogwood tree; and also my Great-Grandmother’s favorite tree/flower. That made me so happy to know. I didn’t really get to know her very well before she passed away; so it’s always great to find out things about her/her life.